Survivor A Comedy
by RheaLynnae
Summary: COMPLETE! What happens when you put the Harry Potter Characters in a minivan to compete for money?
1. Chapter 1

**Day 1-**

Head Person: Okay everyone get in! You know the rules, anyone who comes out of this minivan, loses. Last one sitting wins!

Everyone piles in

Head Person: Good Luck...Walks away laughing evilly

2 hours later-

Harry, Ron, and Hermione: I'm bored!!!  
Fred and George: Tell me about it!!!  
Voldemort: Well, since you're bored, I shall kill you...  
Dumbledore and Sirius: 'EXPELLIARMUS!!'  
Voldemort gets blasted out of the minivan and loses  
Harry: Well, that was fun. What next...

**Day 5- Everyone is getting restless. Twice Bellatrix tried to beat up Hermione, while Harry ate so much candy that he threw up on Ron and they got into a fight. Dumbledore had to many lemon drops and said, 'I love you' to Sirius, and he switched spots with Ron.**

Harry: I NEED MORE CANDY!!!  
Ron: No you don't! You just threw up all over me! ARE YOU CRAZY!! Dumbledore gave Harry some lemon drops.  
Bellatrix: Ugh! I surrounded by these idiots! I'M OUTTA HERE! She leaves with toilet paper stuck to her pants  
Sirius: Ugh, I'm bored...

**Day 14- Everyone is starting to eat pieces of the car. Also they are starting annoy each other and start having hallucinations.**

Fred: I like eggs...I like eggs...  
George: Oh SHUT UP ALREADY!!!  
Fred: I like eggs...  
Harry: Ugh...I don't feel well  
Hermione: Well, that's because you pigged out on candy the past 9 days!  
Dumbledore: I like Lemon drops...  
George: Great! Now he's going crazy!!  
Sirius: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!

**Day 21- Lets just say Sirius wants to kill himself...**

Sirius: Ugh! I want to kill myself!  
Dumbledore: Oh Sirius, don't talk like that!  
Fred: I like bacon...I like bacon  
George: Oh great now it's bacon?! What happened to eggs?!  
Fred: I like eggs...and bacon...  
George: UGH!!!!! runs out of minivan crying like a baby  
Harry: What a baby!!  
Ron: Tell me about it! Wizards cheese anyone?  
Hermione and Harry: Wizards cheese?  
Ron: yeah, instead of chess men you use pieces of cheese!  
Harry: let's play!!  
Ron takes out set and they play!  
Dumbledore: Lemon drop anyone?

**Day 29- You don't want to know…**

Fred: MONKEYS!!!!  
Harry: What??  
Fred: There are monkey's outside. Aww...how cute...  
Ron: okay...you have gone crazy  
Hermione: Thats not possible...I think your hallucinating! I have read it some where in _**Hogwarts, A History**_**  
Sirius: Maybe Madame Pomfrey should take a look at him.  
Dumbledore: ...  
Harry: THERE AREN'T MONKEYS OUTSIDE! GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF FRED!  
Fred: Yeah there is! I see two of them kissing. Aww...  
Dumbledore: ...**

**Day 36- Still have nothing to say...**

Harry: Oh my god, I see a baby kitten outside!!  
Ron: That's not a cat, it's the head person!  
head person comes in  
Head Person: Okay everyone; it is time to vote one person out of this minivan. You have now been in here for 36 days, just to let you know...hands out paper

10 minutes later...

Head Person: Okay hold up your papers!

Harry: kittens  
Ron: Fred  
Hermione: Fred  
Dumbledore: Lemon Drops  
Sirius: Dumbledore  
Fred: Eggs 

Head Person: Fred, you have been voted out of Survivor, goodbye! Fred disappears in thin air and head person leaves laughing hysterically

**Day 42- Ron and Harry are fighting a wizard's cheese piece**

Harry and Ron fighting over a wizard's cheese piece

Harry: Give it to me, it's mine!!  
Ron: No, it's mine!!  
Harry: no it's MINE!  
Ron: GIVE IT TO ME!  
They tug at it one more time and it rips. Ron and Harry look at each other and they start beating up each other  
Hermione: Guys, stop!  
Harry and Ron: NO!! Hermione backs off  
Dumbledore: Guys, Ms. Granger is right.  
Harry and Ron: Oh shut up!!!  
Sirius: snores because he is sleeping and starts singing 'Casper the friendly ghost' which causes Ron and Harry to stop fighting.  
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Dumbledore: Huh?

**Day 51- Sirius is sleeping and says that Casper is dying…**

Sirius: sleeping CASPER, DON'T DIE!!!! Wakes up to everyone staring at him  
Harry: Why in the world are you screaming out Casper?  
Sirius: Because he's my best friend, and he's right behind you! He points to nothing behind Harry  
Ron: Huh? Sirius what are you talking about?  
Dumbledore: I like lemon drops...I like- hey there's a donkey out side eating a banana!  
Everyone turns towards the window, see nothing, then turn towards Dumbledore and throw him out of the minivan!  
Hermione: Do that again! Do that again!

**Day 64- Hermione is going crazy!**

Hermione: crying I want my mommy!!  
Harry: I want you to shut up!  
Hermione: NO! I want my mommy! Leaves minivan, crying  
Ron: Who would have think it?  
Sirius: Its thunk, not think!  
Ron: Blah, blah, blah...  
Harry: I WANT CANDY!!!  
Harry looks around the car and sees cat food  
Harry: Ooh, chocolate covered raisins!!  
Takes a piece and eats it  
Ron: Harry, you know that's cat food right?  
Harry: It is? looks at the bag Oh well! eats more.

**Day 71- Ron and Harry are fighting over the cat food. Sirius is crying because Casper died, and lets just say things are about to get more out of control as they battle to be the last one in the minivan.**

**Harry: I like kitties!  
Ron: I...I...ugh! I don't know what I like! Starts crying  
Sirius: Oh shut up! You guys are acting like total idiots. slaps both of them GET A HOLD OF YOURSELFS!  
Harry and Ron: Do that again!  
Sirius rolls his eyes and slaps them  
Harry and Ron: Thanks!**

Day 79- Harry finally grows a brain and notices something in the ignition…

Harry: Ugh...Ron?  
Ron: Shut up!! I don't want to hear it!  
Sirius: Both of you shut up!  
Harry: NO! Look! he points to the ignition  
Ron: There's keys in there!  
Sirius: How come we never noticed before?  
Ron: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
All: ROAD TRIP!!  
Sirius jumps in the driver's seat and turns it on  
All: Whoo!!  
Drives off

Head person: HEY COME BACK HERE!!!

All: YEAH WE WON!! LETS GO TO VEGAS!

**The End! Please leave some reviews! Thanks for reading.**

**A/N: I got the idea for this story from "The Amanda Show" on Nickelodeon a couple years ago and finally decided to post it!**

**RheaLynnae**


	2. Author's Note

I hope everyone enjoyed this story.  I have a sequel to this story, when everyone Harry, Ron and Sirius go to Vegas! I am still working on it though. Please R&R! Thank you.

RheaLynnae


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